This is Day Ten of my 30 Days of Gratitude challenge. I have committed to writing about 30 things I’m grateful for in an attempt to improve my attitude of gratitude. Overall, I’m a pretty optimistic and grateful person, but God’s word tells us to rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for us in Christ Jesus. That’s convicting. I don’t give thanks in all circumstances. Do you? I think if I did I would be filled with more joy and peace. If it’s His will for us, then it makes sense that we would also experience more power of the Holy Spirit. I don’t know about you, but I’m down for more joy, peace and power.
Today I’m grateful for God’s conviction.
Sometimes I do wrestle with resentment. I hate it when I feel resentful. It affects my relationship with God and others. It makes me want to withhold my love and find fault. In my seeking the root to my resentment, God has been faithful to show me some things.
There’s an old saying, “Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” That’s how it feels to wallow in resentment; like you’re slowly being poisoned to death.
I have learned there are usually three main reasons I feel resentful.
- Selfishness-I have to admit, once in a while I can be a little selfish. Usually those times correlate with hormonal changes. Just like Frank Sinatra said, I want it my way. I want things done when I want them done. When I’m in that selfish mindset, then I become resentful when people don’t comply with my expectations.
- Blame-Rick Warren says to blame is to be-lame. Get it? Blaming only hurts ourselves. Most of the time the other person is going on with their life without a clue. Meanwhile, we are still trapped in the past. Or we make sure they know they are to blame, and imprison the both of us in emotional solitary confinement. Blaming is often a way to protect ourselves from having to take personal responsibility. But until we do so, we will never be free. The other person will always have control over us. The past will always steal the present. Let it go…
- Unmet Needs-We all have needs; emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual needs. When one or all of those needs aren’t met, we can become resentful and discouraged. I think this is especially an issue when we don’t communicate our needs in the first place. This can happen with close relationships as we almost believe that our loved ones should know what we want and need. We expect them to be mind readers. The key to a resentment from an unmet need is to communicate, communicate, communicate.
This is a short list, as there are other reasons for resentment, but I think these three are key roots to the problem. Whatever is on your list, I encourage you to seek God’s wisdom and leading to help you understand and overcome the root of resentment. It’s through an intimate relationship with the Lord that we are able to be more than conquerors of the things that hold us back in our lives. Jesus came to give us life and to give it to the full. Let us throw everything that holds us down. Let us put others first in how we love and serve, just like Christ does for us.
Let us rejoice, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances.
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32
What are you grateful for?